Encountering Fear .....

About a week ago, I hear a woman's voice yelling from right outside my apartment. Her voice had hints of fear and frustration. She was yelling at someone saying, "No, leave me alone! You said you would never touch me again. Now your pushing me. Leave me alone." Obviously it sounded like a domestic dispute and I thought about just calling 911 and leaving it at that. I was concerned that it would escalate and I couldn't stomach the thought of the woman getting hurt while I did nothing. I walked out my apartment and headed towards her voice. I see them, a young couple in their early 20s, they are right by the street. The man is close to her leaning towards her aggressively. She is trying to get around him but he is holding her arms.



I ask, "Is everything alright?" but obviously I know it is not. She says everything is fine. He yells "Everything is fine bro!" I tell him, "I am not talking to you,I am asking her. Are you okay". He walks quickly towards me, she holds him back, telling him to stop. I experience a flash of anger and blurt out, "I wish you would, I would crack your #$%^&ing skull!" It has never sat well with me and never will. He tells his girlfriend that he wasn't trying to do anything and walks towards me. He is standing about a foot away from me. I size him up and realize that he has been drinking and I have about 20 - 30 lbs and at least 6 inches. He is within my reach and I could have struck him in the solar plexus, groin or face faster than he would have been able to reach me. He is looking at me and sizing me up as well.

I realized that I was genuinely afraid! My stomach was in knots and my right leg was shaking a little bit. The man didn't really wanted to fight and apologized for the disturbance. I told him that I didn't care that they were making noise but I was concerned for her safety. He was conciliatory and apologized again. Even offered a handshake which I took ( I was still waiting to see if he was going to try anything). I looked at her again and made sure she was okay before leaving. I waited around the corner to make sure that he didn't escalate and then left after a couple of minutes.

I know he didn't really want to fight. He was trying to save face in front of his girlfriend. When he offered an apology, he was able to save face when I accepted. I guess I didn't really want to fight either but I was surprised by my fear. I was very afraid and I was pretty shocked by it. I think I was more afraid of the unknown: I didn't know how everything was going to play out, I didn't know how I or he was going to react. Was he going to have a weapon? Was I truly ready and would I react fast enough? What would I do if he pulled out a knife or worse? What if my training failed me and I couldn't think and defend myself. I realized a few things from the encounter:

1. I should have called the police if I thought she was in real danger. It was pretty dumb to just try and wing it like that.
2. My anger flashed because I can't stand bullies. Ever since I was a kid, I remember getting picked on and feeling helpless to defend myself. Which is one of the reasons I started studying martial arts in the first place. I have never looked too kindly on someone who would fight or abuse someone weaker. I still should have controlled myself a little better and I probably would have been able to diffuse the situation a little easier.
3. I was able to keep relatively composed in spite of being afraid . Although being that afraid was somewhat disconcerting. I need to focus on this in training with visualization.